Thursday, October 15, 2009

I Didn't Listen to God on Tuesday

We had a staff retreat this week and were sent away alone to think through how the way we do ministry effects how we connect with God.

Two words came to my mind: creatively and frantically.

Psalm 63: 1-8 has been on my mind for the past couple of months and it popped into my head again, so I read it, totally worshipping through and agreeing with every part, as usual.

This is Psalm 63: 1-8:
O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you;
    my soul thirsts for you;
my flesh faints for you,
   as in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary,
   beholding your power and glory.
Because your steadfast love is better than life,
   my lips will praise you.
So I will bless you as long as I live;
   in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul will be satisfied as with fat and rich food,
   and my mouth will praise you with joyful lips,
when I remember you upon my bed,
   and meditate on you in the watches of the night;
for you have been my help,
   and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy.
My soul clings to you;
   your right hand upholds me.

When I was done reading, I sensed God saying, "But that isn't how YOU would write it." So...I put it into 100% honest words that were my own and then felt God prompting me to share it because it wasn't only for me. I chickened out...actually, I disobeyed God. I've repented, and now here it is.

Maybe it's for you, too:

O God you are my God; frantically I look around for you;
  my soul would probably want you;
  my flesh is too busy to care,
  as in an overcrowded city where there is too much noise.
So I have tried to connect with you at church,
  with my limited knowledge of your power and glory.
Because you generally take care of me, I will do good things in your name.
So I will make you look good - until I get bored;
  in your name I will be too busy to care.
My soul will starve to death and my mouth will talk a big game
  when I realize how far I got on my own and that I don't know you at all;
  but you must have helped.
And in the blazing heat of this desert, I will yell about being lonely.
My soul clings to you, but I pull it away;
  I am too busy to learn how to trust your hand to hold me.


Brian Lusky said...

thanks for sharing D. I loved this

Jan Parrish said...

I love your translation. Just beautiful and so very timely. Thanks for sharing.

rachel said...

WOW... that is powerful. I've never thought to rewrite a Psalm like that, it is so revealing.

thanks for sharing with us.

Vicky Wilson said...

thank you so much for sharing that! i can SO relate and echo your words!
in my LTG (Life Transformation Group) we've been reading the Pslams and this Psalm SO stuck out to me! i WANT those to be my words, but your words are more true.
thank you so much for sharing this with us and being obedient to God!

AmyK said...

Thank you for sharing this. I definitely needed to read this today! It is so true how far removed we can be from God, while doing "God's work." Thanks for the reminder.

Mike Cunsolo said...

Wow. This hit home. Thanks for posting.

Larry Shallenberger said...

This is beautiful. THanks Danielle

Anonymous said...

Found your blog through Molly Piper's. I really like your honesty and creativity.